is this the new year or just another night?

So, it's been a few days. I totally made Graphic of the Week on LOBH with my Switchfoot Elves. That made me happy :)

Anyways, you all know that New Years is coming up. A time to start fresh. A time to decide whether or not you want to live the same year over again. And a time to look back on the things that has happened this year.

This year was a learning year. You know what I mean? It's not a year where something crazy-bad happened. A few really awesome things happened and a couple bad here and there. But nothing life-changing. But what I mean by "learning year" is that there are things about this year that I will carry on for the rest of my life. While nothing dramatic or terrible happened to me, there are plenty around me who has had horrible experiences this year. And I am learning how to deal with those. Some very scary things happened to people around me. But I decided that I was going to help them. And that made this a learning year because it has helped me find out how to help people for the greater good and encouraging them to keep on a good, straight path. While I have learned that I can be nobody's Holy Spirit, I know how to balance that with good help and even pushes from time to time.

I know that I wanted to make a new friend this year. And that I did. We get along amazing. But there was something about her that was different from my other friends. You see, when learning more about life and how to deal with things, God changed the way I acted. I am truly ashamed of the person that I used to be. "Who I am hates who I've been", right? So with this new friend, I felt like I was given a clean slate to start over with. Almost like I could get off on a good start with this person because she didn't know the old me. I feel so terrible about the way that I used to act and I'm glad that she never saw that side of me. While I am no where near perfect, I can truly say that there has been a change in my life. With my other friends, I feel like I have to start over with them, in a sense. The person that I used to be I now want dead and I want my friends to forget her. To leave her behind. And start fresh.

This is one of my New Year's Resolutions. To completely rid myself of the selfish, self-serving brat I was and become a new, shining child in God.

There are so many things that I can be thankful for this year. The epiphanies I've had while sitting in my bed late at night. Switchfoot quietly mulling their beautiful tune in the background. And my Bible in my hands. The true word of God passed through His humble servants. The things I have found in that book have been...well, really cool! It's so neat how God can show you something that you've seen 1000 times over before and then suddenly there's the click in your head. "OH!", you might say. "I can't believe I never saw that that way before! Amazing!" It's really neat the things you learn when you find out how to keep your mind open to the words of other people and not the darkness in your self that tries to trick you from time to time.

It's amazing. When you have Christ living inside of you, it's like there's now a battle. A constant civil war of good and evil. While the good wins the wars, there are times when the bad whens the battles. Those are hard times, indeed. But the good always comes in and rescues you from yourself. You can always tell because that Good is not of yourself. It can't be. You are the evil, but God is the Good in you. When people tell me that I "shine in my faith", it's very easy for me to give myself the credit. It's God shining through me. It always is. Without Jesus, I was as dark as a night with no moon. But now I have this amazing fire shining through me, and it makes me happier to know that God is living in me rather than me doing all these things myself. If it's just myself, then it's temporary. Useless. It won't get me anywhere but on a high horse where I'll crash to my face. Thank God that is not ultimately the case.

Well, I believe that all that I have to say for now. Have a good day. And a beautiful New Years.

Peace.
Cecelia.

merry christmas.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

letters to the amazing.

Wow, it's been a while. A lot of things have happened, just nothing worth writing about I suppose.

I've been wanting for a long time to write a letter to Switchfoot. I just don't know how. They really have helped me in my life. I can't explain how much they have helped me.

So I wrote out a letter for them, knowing they probably won't ever read it, but it was nice to write just get out there.

Dear Switchfoot,

Over the past 8 months, I have seen more spiritual growth in my life than ever before. The reason I say 8 months is because 8 months ago, I saw you guys and came home a Switchfoot fam. I thought my Switchfoot "high" would be over in 2 weeks. Ah, how silly of me to think that.
After learning so much about you guys, I have learned much about life, myself, and God. I've learned how to love people better, how to understand God more, how to stand up to the giants in both spiritual and physical realms. All of it. Though I give God the ultimate glory, I want to let you know how much you mean to me.
Since becoming a huge fam, I have experienced many amazing things. Things like talking to friends on the boards to actually meeting them and seeing them in person. Then more serious things. I started thinking deeper about life. I never really did before nor did I even think of why. I just knew the rules. But now I think for myself. Instead of taking people's words for it, I go and search things out myself. I like to explore more and more the confines of my broken heart. I've realized just how not-as-fixed-as-I-thought-I-was I really am. I have more passion. I find more beauty. I enjoy God more.
While all this may seem to not really have anything to do with you, it really does. You see, I have seen Christ shine so brightly in you that I can't possibly turn away. I'm mesmerized by the light shining off of you guys. And it makes me want to learn more. I now have a passion for helping people. Because of you guys, I am going on a missions trip to LA next year. I have decided to branch out more in everything that there is. And you guys have greatly influenced that.

A friend told me today that she knew that I was a hardcore Christian and I had God shining through me. She said that I'm "like a Mirror image.... that is if God's reflection was a 16 yr old girl with black hair and glasses". That was literally the first time I cried tears of joy. I was so happy. I have been praying so hard that God would show me that I truly am His, because I find myself so terrible I can hardly believe it. But that just made me sure. I know it did.

I know that you guys have talked about how nothing would make you happier than to have God use you as a tool for His purpose and to further advance His kingdom. Well, I'm living proof that this is true. I used to not care so much because I thought I had it all figured out. Then God used you to prove me wrong.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

God bless every single one of you and your families. I love you all so much.

Sincerely,
Cecelia.



Even that seems extremely hollow. Words cannot express love, life, God, and the amazingness of Jesus Christ the way that we want them to, most of the time. God has struck me hard lately.

I'm excited about going to bed tonight. That's where I sit and talk to God when the world is quiet and dark and I'm alone with my God. I know He already knows what's going on. I just like to talk to Him, you know?

I feel really bad for the atheists that are missing out. My heart goes out to them. If you know an atheist, talk to them. Don't shove, just talk. You can't be the Holy Spirit, but you can live out Christ as He lives in you. Just as North Coast Calvary Chapel puts it: "Living in Christ. Living out Christ".

Merry Christmas, everybody.

ohmygravity!!

click that!
it's awesome!

you've been living life like it's a sequel.

you know, sometimes things just hit you in the face. i'm just sitting here listening to some freakin amazing music and just thinking. sort of. i'm also visiting some old friends facebook's and myspace pages. it's weird the friends you had and the friends you have. there was a time in my life where i thought that those friends, who i have no contact with now, were all that mattered while i'm here and breathing. what they thought of me, what they said about me, etc etc. and i see the person i used to be when i was around them. the person that (most people) ended up hating.

fact is, i'm such a different person now, i'd be shocked if they recognized me. it makes me think of what jon foreman says, how in the 24 hours of the day, we can be 24 different people. it's so true. i can't believe how different i am now compared to what i used to be. it's...amazing. i probably wouldn't be friends with the person i once was. it's prety cool how God can change you. i didn't change on purpose. i just went about living my life. the people i count as my best friends now, half of them i didn't even know a year ago. i think i have one really good friend who has been my really good friend for a while now.

isn't it weird how those things happen? i mean, one moment, one person's view of you matters more than anyone else's and the next day, it's someone else. then there comes the question: who's view of you really matters? for me i can really tell who it is when i'm about to do something and i think "well, what would such-and-such say about this?" that's also how i know if i'm not keeping in focus Who should be my focus. my "idolatry check" so to speak. all too often, i think of other people and what they would say in response to my actions, the people around me, and the things that i like and talk about. it's not God as often as it should be. because it's not God all the time. if i were to think of God every single time but one, it wouldn't be enough. if i were to think of God every time, still wouldn't be enough.

i think that's how people's view of God gets skewed. to steal mark foreman's saying, they're, or rather, we're shrinking God down to something. some people want the God who listens to us cry ourselves to sleep. the God who's always with us and never leaves us in the dark. or the God who you don't want catching you with your hand in the cookie jar. the God who keeps you in line and where you should be. though these are true, God is not just one of these things. He's all of these and much, much, much, much more.

isn't it amazing how huge God is? He's massive! He knows everything, everyone, He knows it all! and yet He's so personal. He made us completely different than anything else in creation. He loves us and not the animals or the angels. we can have an amazing relationship with this massive God. He's not our "friend", He's our "father". someone who wants to love us, cherish us, help us, fix us, teach us, He does it all! and this massive God can fit into my heart. my heart that is broken and has been from the start. my dirty, filthy, worldly, ugly, twisted, destroyed, shrunken heart. He fixed that. but in order for Him to fit, He has to make our hearts bigger.

my heart is competely different than it was 2 years ago, 1 year ago, a few months ago, weeks ago, and yesterday. because God is always changing it. making it better. my heart will never be pure, but it will be fixed. it will be able to function the way it was made to function. it will be able to love. and it only gets better and better. it's amazing what God can do to a person. how they can change. how He can always forgive us, even when i run the opposite way.

i remember a long time ago in my old church something that a visiting pastor said. he compared the Christian walk to the mississippi river. "the river is always headed south. it make go west, it may go east, it even goes north sometimes, but it's destination is always south". just like the Christian walk. i may get sidetracked, i may feel like turning around at times, but as long as God is my tour guide, i will end up in the desired destination.

i suppose that's all i have to say. i just spilled. hope you're having a good day. life is short. live it well.

peace,
cecelia.

this is why switchfoot is amazing.

you will love them by the end of this here.
these are the forewards that the foreman brothers (jon and tim) aka, my personal heroes, wrote for their dad's new book, Wholly Jesus.
they are really, really, really, really amazing.
check this out:

Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal.” Maybe Picasso stole
that concept from T. S. Elliot—or maybe neither of ‘em said it.
Either way my confession is this: I am both a thief and an imitator
of my father.
The best parts of me are simply echoes of my dad. He’s still showing
me patience after all these years—still showing me how to love the
folks that insult me. And so the song remains the same: though I’m a
few inches taller than my dad, he remains a much bigger man than I.
So you see my predicament in writing this forward: I am the shadow
asked to introduce the object who has cast it. I am the cartoon
asked to introduce the real thing. To usher in his words with my own
could be a bit redundant.
So I shall begin by talking about everything that is not written in
this book, the things between the lines, the shadows that only a son
can know. The early morning surf sessions at Pipes. The late morning
philosophy chats at Swami’s. Staring at the stars and talking about
how quickly time passes. He was there even during the broken times
when nothing was right. My dad, to my amazement, has always been
the man who won’t try to fix me, just love me.
I am so proud of him. Stories I hear of my dad remind me of other
heroes of mine. Stories like the time when he gave his minivan to a
band who was broken down on the side of the road; he’d never met
them before but they needed a car. Times when he stood strong and
tall in the face of opposition. There’s a friend of mine who said her
main reason for belief in God was knowing my folks. No joke. I know
what she means though; we see what God is like in the faces of those
around us. And though my dad has his flaws like everyone else, I often
see God though him, through the things he says and does. And now,
through what he has written.
With the word “wholeness” trapped in the ether of the tabloids, it
can be a dangerous thing to write about—particularly risky stuff for a
pastor. Yet it was The Teacher himself who was deeply concerned
about our entire being. He lived and died that the broken would
know wholeness. “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but
whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it.” Blessed
are the broken, for they will be made whole.
I have learned so much about this strange, inverse relationship from
my dad. I feel like he embodies it better than anyone I know. In some
ways this book doesn’t do his life justice—it’s like a band’s studio
record that can’t quite capture the live experience. Though these
pages are quite an album in and of themselves, I’ve seen the live show
all my life.
My father’s “music” often came to me in the form of an ongoing
dialogue. A few hours ago, I had a conversation with one of the most
inspiring musicians I’ve ever met. He was telling me about a church
that had kicked him out, an experience that deeply wounded him. I
know what that feels like, to be misunderstood and abused by the
folks who are supposed to be loving you—fighting for you. I’ve had
many great conversations with my dad about this. He says the church
is like your extended family, crazy second uncles and cousins that
might drive you mad. But they are still your family; and they are the
only family you’ll ever get. You have the privilege of loving them.
Yes, the church is beat-up, ugly, and splintered. Even wrong at
times. Tele-evangelists, bigots, hypocrites ... yup. It’s easy to take
shots at the church. So in the age of American individualism and personal
salvation, there is the temptation to disown the whole lot and
reinvent the wheel. “We’ll start fresh!” And yet to think that we’re
going to be the first church that gets it right is ludicrous. We’re never
going to find “Christian wholeness” on our own, not without loving
the folks around us.
Yes, the church is broken. It’s always been broken. We are a body
of misfits, losers, misdirected souls who are desperate for healing. But
let the hospital never abandon the sick patients; let the church never
abandon the broken. The broken are the bride of Christ—the broken
are our family. We, the damaged souls, are the church.
So in this cacophony of brokenness I often look to my dad’s words
to figure out how to heal. How to grow. How to become more
whole. And his words always point me back to The Teacher of wholeness,
the only one who can bring peace. The one who came so that
we could have whole life, abundant life, and I am thirsty for this life
he gives.
In this broken world we face sorrow. We face death and pain. We
face the horrors of our own shattered humanity. But our yearning for
wholeness is beneath it all; we will be satisfied in God alone. In this
longing, I am an immature poet aping God when I try to find wholeness
in and of myself. I must continually be reminded to find peace in
the Father of the heavens alone.
For this, I’ll keep stealing from my dad.

Jon Foreman, frontman for Switchfoot






We are a beautiful letdown,
Painfully uncool,
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools
Oh what a beautiful let down
Are we salt in the wound
Let us sing one true tune


Words to a song that my brother wrote, a song that we’ve
played hundreds of times, all over the world. And yet,
they still resonate deeply within my soul. What a broken
people we are. Spending most of my formative years growing up in
the laid-back surf culture of north county, San Diego, I am very familiar
with the growing search for a remedy. Answers are seemingly
found within the bulletin boards, flyers, books, and pamphlets in
nearly every storefront shop or cafe. And yet, as the number of remedies
increases, ironically so does the demand. There is obviously a
large disconnect here.
This observation is not limited to my hometown, however. As a
touring musician, I’ve enjoyed the opportunity to travel throughout
the world. I love seeing things from a new vantage point—experiencing
other cultures, food, music, waves and everything else along the
way. In all these travels it becomes clear that while the desire for
wholeness is certainly nothing new, there is a growing global awareness
of our brokenness and a newfound urgency towards restoration.
Of course, if I’m truly seeking evidence of our innate human need for
wholeness, I need look no further than the confines of my own heart.
This is why we sing. Singing allows us safe passage through the
treacherous waters of the soul. Our hopes and fears, our doubts and
our beliefs—these are frightening caves to explore, and even worse to
talk about. But in a song, all matter is fair game. “We are a beautiful
letdown ... the church of the dropouts, the losers, the sinners, the failures
and the fools.” It’s an all-too accurate description of humanity
when we try to fix ourselves. “Oh what a beautiful letdown... Let us
sing one true tune!” For me, the letdown is the painful reality that no matter how hard I try, I am quite unable to fix myself. I am in desperate
need of a savior. But what a beautiful truth. There is such freedom
in our surrender to Wholly Jesus, who’s offer to us is nothing less than
complete wholeness. This is the Beautiful Letdown.
***
When my Dad asked Jon and I to write a response to his book, it
made me smile. I play rock and roll for a living. What could I possibly
say to add to the well-chosen words of my Dad, one of my greatest
heroes. Definitely a tall order. My Dad has, without a doubt,
played a huge role in shaping who I am and the worldview that I
carry. This is the guy who pulled the car over when we heard U2’s
“Still haven’t found what I’m looking for” on the radio for the first
time. This is the Dad who introduced me to the magical worlds of
Tolkien, Lewis, and MacDonald. The guy who pushed me into my
first wave on a surfboard, and the guy who taught me how to play
Zeppelin and the Beatles. But perhaps larger than all of these influences,
I’m thankful that he allowed me the freedom to explore, make
mistakes, dream big dreams, and ask even bigger questions.
No question was ever too big or too small—no dialogue was offlimits.
I knew that my Dad’s God was a big God, one who wasn’t
intimidated by my doubts, my questions, my music or my hairstyle.
None of these were frightening to the God he knew (although I’m
sure some of my hairstyles should have been). But it gets better. Not
only was God Almighty not scared by my music, doubts or questions—
He was interested in them. He actually wanted to hear that
warbly, pre-pubescent imitation of Robert Plant singing Stairway to
Heaven. This is the Jesus I was introduced to as a kid: a Wholly Jesus,
fully integrated with all aspects of life, culture and even the darkest
aspects of my soul.
***
I remember one Sunday message in particular that my Dad taught,
titled, “No Thin Jesus.” The title really sums it up. There is nowhere
I can go that is beyond the reaches of redemption. There is no music
venue, no song, no lyric that is outside the sphere of this Wholly
Jesus. When we started this band called Switchfoot, this is why we saw
no disconnect between playing our songs in a bar or in a church.
These were honest songs about hope, doubt, failure and redemption:
the broken human condition and the universal longing to be whole.
These were songs that needed to be sung in bars, coffee shops, colleges,
churches and everywhere else.
They needed to be sung because Jesus’ invasion of wholeness is passionate
and robust, desiring to integrate all aspects of humanity with
himself. So the question that now remains is this: “Where are you
gonna go? Salvation is here!”


Tim Foreman, bassist for Switchfoot




are there gonna be disagreements between me and these to fellows? heck yeah.
just like there are between every single person who will read this note.
you might not like switchfoot, but this right here is why i do.

-cecelia.

so i arrive at the conclusion..

okay, so basically, if your "received love by others" scale was based on your blogs comments, people hate me. haha.

i've been thinking about a lot of things lately. God has shown me a whole freakin' lot. and i want to get my ideas and thoughts out there. i guess my blog isn't a good place for that.
so, i've decided that i'm gonna talk person-to-person. last week, i got to talk to renee and jamie about God, life, love, hope, redemption, and change face-to-face. and it was great. people get more that way. so, i guess this blog is sort of my journal now. though i think that's kind of what blogs are anyways. maybe i was using it for the wrong reasons...

anyways, i suppose i won't be posting much. every now and then yes.

have a nice day :)

peace.

home is where the heart is.

over the river - jon foreman.

Hush, hush, hush, hush...
I heard a sound come from the ground
All of the trees are a buzz
Talking in tongues, talking with lungs
Talking of freedom

All of the earth is soon to give birth
Look at the mountains alive
Birds and the bees, insects and leaves
All of us longing, longing for home
Home, home is somewhere I've never known

Over the river
Over the river
I've set my hope
Over the river
Over the river
I'll find my hope in You, You

Death, where's your sting?
Your signet ring?
Where is your power?
Why all this war?
Death to the score
Nations are fading

Kingdom of light, setting us right
Finally human
Give me a tongue
It will be done
Inside I'm longing, longing for love
Love, love is something I've never known

---------------------

i love jon foreman. i love the depth he goes to write such profound lyrics. his lyrics speak to me personally, no matter how cheesy that sounds, in so many ways. i love this song and it's message. it's such a message of hope, and at the same time, it's about death. this is a dead and dying world. a fountain with no water that we keep drinking from. the water we get from this world is an illusion and it only dries us out. dries out our hearts, our minds, our souls, our lives. but for the believer, there is no sting. death has no sting upon us. death thinks it wins, but doesn't. how beautiful. something ugly can't affect us if we have Jesus in our lives. if our hope is placed over the river.

that is such a beautiful way to put it, i think. my hope is over the river. at the other end. the place that we don't know, yet we call it home. it's so amazing. my home is somewhere i've never seen, never been, but it's there. "home is where the heart is". that is such a valid statement. if your heart is in things, then it's gonna burn in a lake of fire with those things. but, if your heart is in God, it's going to live forever and forever. it's something that i don't understand and don't have to. all i know is that God is in me and that's really all that matters. i doesn't matter if you are or aren't a calvinist, a baptist, a theologian, whatever. all that matters is that you love God. we should do everything we can to glorify God, and that comes with Him living in us. amazing, isn't it?

i love to, at times, just sit back and look. the world is so confusing to me. i don't understand how it is so ugly and so beautiful. when i'm driving at 5 o'clock with the windows down, not a cloud in the sky, everything is bright and beautiful and i have my music playing, i don't understand how the world is ugly. i guess it's just the people in it. but even then, i see beauty. i see the wrong things in the world and people's actions, and that's ugly. but the creation is beautiful. it was effected by the fall, yes. but God didn't let all of His creation go to sin and darkness. it's so beautiful right now with the fall colors, the leaves coming off the trees, and the sun reflecting off of everything outside. it's gorgeous and sometimes makes me want to shout. it's things like that that make me want to move. no, not break out my killer dance skills, but do something. further advance the Kingdom. tell people, "if you think this is gorgeous, you should see this".

well, i guess that's it for now. life is short, live it well.
peace.

"I'm sick to my stomach. Let us never be comfortable with these types of facts. Let us be frustrated, angry, disturbed."

that right there is a jono quote.
and i totally agree with it concerning the topic he's talking about.

human trafficking is something that has recently hit really near and dear to my heart. it's just so wrong it kills me. how the heck can people do this sort of this? why? buying, selling, and trading young girls for sexual abuse? what on earth?!

okay, there's a little rant. hah. now here's some facts that i hope would wake some people up:

Supply and Demand
The "demand" of the multi-billion dollar global sex industry puts children throughout the world at-risk of becoming the “supply.” Criminal gangs, pimps and pornographers seek to profit from this demand by enslaving and abusing children, preying on those made most vulnerable by poverty, lack of education, minority status, gender bias and homelessness.

Often, captors will threaten, beat and starve new recruits to condition them for the fate that awaits: sex with multiple customers every day. Eventually this abuse “breaks” the children. They learn to force a smile for the pedophiles, sex tourists and others that frequent their establishments.

The Effects
Sexual exploitation and abuse have grave consequences on any person’s well being, especially a child’s. Unprotected sex, gang rapes, forced abortions and manipulation can cause severe psychological and physical damage, including HIV/AIDS and other infectious diseases or conditions.

What is Child Trafficking?
According to the UN ODCCP Protocol to Prevent, Suppress, and Punish Trafficking in Persons, child trafficking is: the recruitment, transportation, transfer, harboring or receipt of persons, by means of threat or use of force or other forms of coercion, of abduction, of deception, of the abuse of power or of position of vulnerability or of the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation.

Most countries in the world are involved – they may be a source of vulnerable children, a place they pass through, or a destination for trafficked children. Unfortunately, even the United States plays it’s part when U.S. “sex tourists” visit countries like Thailand or Cambodia and have sex with children, including those trafficked into the sex industry.

Children who are desperately poor are especially at risk of being trafficked. Trafficked children may be exploited by being used in prostitution or pornography, and labor in domestic, factory or agricultural work. In some countries, they are forced to risk their lives as soldiers. Some action is being taken to directly address trafficking by governments and non-profit organizations, but much more needs to be done.

Where is the problem?
Every year at least 1.2 million children are estimated to be trafficked around the world and that number is growing. Child trafficking is not limited to developing countries; the U.S. and Europe deal with domestic trafficking issues and also serve as destinations for trafficked children from abroad. Latin America, the Caribbean and Africa are also becoming hot spots for child trafficking. Today, the situation is dire in the Asian region, in countries such as: Cambodia, Thailand, Laos, Myanmar, the Philippines, India, Nepal, and Bangladesh.

Commercial Sexual Exploitation of Children (CSEC)
ECPAT defines CSEC as the following: A Fundamental violation of children’s rights. It comprises sexual abuse by the adult and remuneration in cash or kind to the child or a third person or persons. The child is treated as a sexual object and as a commercial object. The commercial sexual exploitation of children constitutes a form of coercion and violence against children, and amounts to forced labor and a contemporary form of slavery. (ECPAT, Questions and Answers about CSEC) The primary factors of CSEC are prostitution, pornography, trafficking and sex tourism of persons under the age of 18. Under the age of 18 is an internationally recognized definition of child in numerous international treaties and conventions.

minors. young children are being beaten and sexually abused really for no reason.

here are some statistics:

Trafficking in persons is modern-day slavery, involving victims who are forced, defrauded or coerced into labor or sexual exploitation.

United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) now believes that the number of children trafficked annually is around 1.2 million. (2006)

It is estimated that two children per minute are trafficked for sexual exploitation.

Annually, according to U.S. Government-sponsored research completed in 2006, approximately 800,000 people are trafficked across national borders, which does not include millions trafficked within their own countries. Approximately 80 percent of transnational victims are women and girls and up to 50 percent are minors. The majority of transnational victims are females trafficked into commercial sexual exploitation. (2007 Trafficking in Persons Report, U.S. State Department)

It is estimated that at least 27 million people are currently enslaved around the world, many who have been enslaved through being trafficked. This is more than double the number of Africans enslaved during the Trans-Atlantic slave trade.

The U.N. and other experts estimate the total market value of illicit human trafficking at $32 billion - about $10 billion is derived from the initial "sale" of individuals, with the remainder representing the estimated profits from the activities or goods produced by the victims of this barbaric crime. (UNODC)

These numbers make trafficking in persons the second most lucrative crime in the world. The first is drug trafficking. (Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development, 2006).

About $28 billion of this is generated from commercial sexual exploitation. (International Labor Organization)

The organization to End Child Prostitution, Child Pornography and Trafficking in Children for Sexual Purposes believe that 45,000-50,000 persons are trafficked into the U.S. each year, 15,000 of them are children. (ECPAT-USA)

Common methods of trafficking:
- physical force
- coercion (debt relief for family, job, marriage, etc.)
- physical and emotional abuse
- threats against

this whole thing kills me. and something else i don't get is this:

no one seems to care.

tons of people that i've talked to about this really seemed very apathetic. or just "oh that's sad" or "oh that's terrible" and leaving it at that. come on, ya'll! we need to do something about this! we can, really and truly! you don't have to have money or tons of time or ways to get places. you can help anywhere! you know, james 1:27 says this:

27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

look after the orphans and widows. i love that verse. there is a sense of beauty about it that i just love and adore.

there is always something to do. some way to help. it kills me that people don't know about the needs of the world. it kills me more that people know the needs and do nothing about it. you don't have to go on a missions trip to another country. there are things you can do in your community. heck, even in just your church. just find something that you are passionate about and act on it! like jan in the office said "there's always a million reasons not to do something". decide what's more important. your silly little needs or dying children. for a while i cared about it, but never really acted. thank God for sending me to Cornerstone. i saw a ton of people working for the glory of God there and how they did amazing things and i want to be a part of it. i feel a strong calling, i suppose. now i know that i can't make someone feel a "calling" from God that i do, but you should, as a bible-believing christian feel the need to do something.

so go change your world! you really can!

it's bigger than cold religion. it's bigger than life. love is the movement. love is the revolution.

peace,

cecelia.

welcome back to the blogsphere, cecelia!

wow you guys, i haven't posted in forever. hmm, that's strange.
actually, no, it's not. i mean, i've had new thoughts and ideas on things recently, but i feel like having a one-on-one in order to get them out. i love to write about my thoughts and feelings regarding the world that i live in, but there are times when that just doesn't cut it.
okay, end of rant. haha.
basically, i've learned lately about my relationship with God. i've learned that it's not just God doing all the good stuff while i get to sit here saying "praise him! praise him!" i've learned that i have to do something. to move. i always talk about it, and tell others to do it, but me? no, not so much. "there's more to living than being alive" as stephen christian says. things that make me think about this is (big shocker) Switchfoot songs (told you it was a shock ;) ). songs like love is the movement, daisy, and this is your life. i wish i was deep like jon foreman. i'm on my way, but not there quite yet. i want to be able to analyze everything around me with a good, biblical perspective.
oh! i just had a song jump into my head. here's a stanza from 24:
i want to see miracles
to see the world change
i wrestled the angel
for more than a name
for more than a feeling
for more than a cause
and i'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
and You're raising the dead in me
i'm not copping out

of course that's rather editied, but you get the idea.
i love that part of the song. it could be my favorite switchfoot lyrics of all time. it defines my life. i do want to see people change, i want more than a name, feelings and causes. i want to be with the Lord. nothing pleases me more than He does. i wonder why He loves me. i drift away from Him sometimes, whereas He never leaves my side. how does that happen? how can i leave Him, but He's still with me? how are we washed white as snow with crimson blood? how can we believe in God, and yet doubt Him sometimes? it's these questions that make you think. of course, those are random ones and not all totally literal, but still, i think sparatically.

this is the most random blog, but i'm just following my thoughts.

you know, it's a beautiful day outside. even though i'm sitting here kindaa hungry, doing nothing, not going to the switchfoot show that i was planning to go to, and have no money, i'm really rather happy. it's awesome how God can do that to a person, ya know? again, reminds me of a song:
i look out the window
the birds are compsing
not a note is out of tune or out of place
i walk to the meadow and and stare at the flowers
better dressed than any girl on her wedding day
two things You told me
that You are strong and You love me
yes You love me!

i love that. cause it's so true. outside it's gorgeous, and i'm reminded of Christ's unfalible love. it's such a beautiful thing. he puts such color in my world and i love it. i am often in awe of it all. so gorgeous.

again being random...heh.
something i've learned lately is how to be strong. you know, for a long time i thought the way to get stronger was to cut everything "worldly" out of my life. music, tv, etc. that only made me weaker. because when someone came to me with opposing ideas that i had never heard before, i didn't know what to say to it. all i knew was how i should act. i never learned what other people think of things and how best to have a conversation exclaiming each others ideas. i've grown up in church and been there all my life. all i knew were the things of the church. but when someone said something opposing my beliefs, i was there questioning myself. so i've learned not to cut out everything. it only makes my immune system weaker. so i try to open up more and learn about other peoples thoughts on things. it helps me to better understand my God by knowing other people's take on life. i've learned a lot more that way, and i find myself a stronger person. i find that it's now easier to talk about God and life and what-such. now when i find myself in a ceratin group setting where not a lot of my friends there are Christians, it's easier to stand firm in what i believe in. to remain strong. it reminds me of what stephen christian said. some girl asked him how he can stay strong in his faith at places such as warped tour. his response was something along the lines of:
"think of it as a very tall building. a skyscraper. that is your life. if your foundation is in the firm rock of Jesus Christ, then your building isn't going to fall when huge winds come. you may sway, but never fall"
(again, i said something along those lines. that is definitely not word for word.)
i really love that saying. it's so simple, and i knew it all along, but it finally clicked. you know, i used to feel sort of uncomfortable talking about God because people would laugh at me or something. you may find that very silly, and i do too, but you have been in the same situation before. so now, whenever i am in that situation, i think of that verse that talks about "blessed are those that are rebuked for My Name's for theirs is the kingdom of God". (again, not word for word).
that verse gives me the strength to keep going. the word of God is where my strength is found. my strength, hope, peace, love, and faith is founded upon the word of God.

such a beautiful thing. i love to see growth in my life as well as others. it makes me certain that there is a God. the God. my God. so often, i see people as they get older, they start to sway further and further from the truth. those are the people that were never there in the first place and just put on a very good show. that's what so many non-believers see. which i believe is part of the reason why there aren't as many true believers anymore. so when i do see growth, it gives me confidence, gives me faith, gives me hope. i know that i'm living for more than just what people call the "made-up god in my head". here's a tim foreman quote, and i'm applying it right now:

"Thank you Jesus, my sweet Lord. You have been so good to me. I remember, and I am humbled."

that's beautiful. and it really gets to me. "thank you Jesus, my sweet Lord".

here's a song. my favorite part in bold.

Love is the Movement - uh, i don't think i need to tell you the artist. ;)

A day in LA
And millions of faces
Are looking for movement
Cause everything's stuck
And everything's frozen
And everyone's broken
And nobody moves
And everybody's scared
That the motion will never come

This is the incompletion
Stuck in a line

Love is the movement
Love is a revolution
This is redemption
We don't have to slow back down

The stars are alive
They dance to the music
Of the deepest emotion
And all of the world
Is singing in time
As the heavens are caving in
Mysterious ways
Why God gave His life
To put motion inside my soul

It's bigger than cold religion
It's bigger than life

We're starting now
We don't have to slow back down

This is a revolution

Get up, get up
Love is moving you now



beautiful. absolutely astounding. again, thank you Jesus, my sweet Lord. you have been so good to me.

Don't let go tonight.

Woah, it's been a while since I last blogged.
So right now, life sorta sucks. On Monday, one of my best friends moved out of town. I'm super sad. And sad doesn't even begin to explain. I mean, I didn't think we'd all be this sad. But people are sobbing left and right. I don't think I went outside but once yesterday. It's really pathetic. He was one of my greatest friends ever. It's not like he had the greatest sense of moral values, but he was nice. I never got mad at him for being mean. It seems like when everyone around me was mad about some stupid thing that I had said, or drama had been started that was unnecessary, he was the one person who wasn't part of it. He never got mad at me. I'll admit, I thought that he was just trying to be nice, and that he really didn't like me. No one likes me much. I've got a couple friends here and there, but definitely not a lot. And a lot of them live in a different state. But he always seemed to enjoy my company. We would talk and have a good time. I really love the kid. I'm not in love, I just love him, like you love a brother. So I'm pretty sad.
It was strange cause for the few days before they moved, I wasn't at all sad. We hung out a ton, had a lot of fun, talked about random crap, yada yada yada. Then when we were driving out of their driveway on Monday after helping them pack, watching them crawl up into their packed up moving van, that's when it hit me. They aren't coming back for a long time. I'm not going to see them at church. When everyone gets mad at me, there won't be that one person that I can forget everything with. It's gonna be really tough.
But I can't die. I don't want to just curl up and die. I want to find a way to move on a little. I don't want to forget them, I just can't let it flood my mind.
I'm gonna get up and do something. I woke up a little earlier today, so I'm gonna do something. I have to.
Thank God for sending me Switchfoot and Jon Foreman. I might be curled up in my bed right now if it weren't for that Godsend.
Speaking of which, here's the song.

Golden - Switchfoot.

She's alone tonight with a bitter cup and
She's undone tonight, she's all used up,
She's been staring down the demons
Who've been screaming
She's just another so and so,
Another so and so

You are golden,
You are golden, Child
You are golden,
(Don't let go)
(Don't let go tonight)

There's a fear that burns like trash inside
And your shame of the curse that burns your eyes
You've been hiding in your bedroom,
Hoping this isn't how the story has to go
It's not the way it goes,
It's your book now,

You are golden,
You are golden, Child
You are golden,
(Don't let go)
(Don't let go tonight)

You're a lonely soul in a land of broken hearts
You're far from home, it's a perfect place to start

(Yeah!)
(Burn)
(Burn, Burn!)

So this final verse is a contradiction
And the more we learn the less we know

We've been talkin' about a feeling,
We both know inside but couldn't find the words
I couldn't write this verse,
I've seldom been so sure,
About anything before

Golden,
You are Golden, Child

You are Golden,
(Don't let go)
(Don't let go tonight)

This world is a dead man down (Golden, you are)
Every breath is a fading crown we wear (Golden, Child, you are)
Like some debilitated king (Golden, don't let go)
Don't let go tonight

The Earth spins and the moon goes round (Golden, you are)
The green comes from the frozen ground (Golden, Child, you are)
And everything will be made new again (Golden)
(Like freedom in spring) (Golden, Golden)

Hey, like freedom in spring, (Golden, you are, hey)
Like freedom in spring (Golden, Child, you are)
(Gold...)

Thank God! It's all gonna be alright.

My Independence Week pwned yours.

Not bragging, it's fact. Cornerstone week. Oh my gosh. It was incredible! I had so much fun! I met up with some Switchfoot boardies (Matt and Emily) and they were soo awesome! I couldn't believe how well we all got along! I would totally leave here to go up to Bushnell for a week any day.
If you want to see pictures, then you gotta go to my "space" or my Facebook. I got like 108 photos. It was so awesome. And Cedar Point was loads of fun too.
So I did my Driver's Ed driving part this week. I finished up yesterday, went and took the test and..
Dun dun DUNN!!!
GOT MY LICENSE! AHHH!!!
I drove with Celeste last night and all by myself today. It's awesome. I love love love it!
So right now, I don't feel all that serious. Just happy to be alive. The fact that my phone is broken kinda sucks, but hey! I can drive by myself, right? Haha.
Uhm, can't come up with a song on the top of my head right now that best suits the moment, so we'll just leave it at that....
That.

The hard post.

So I was laying in bed last night and I was thinking hard. I have sinned against so many people, and have yet to say sorry to them. I felt so bad, I was about to just tear myself in two. So I asked God's forgiveness, then I came to the conclusion that I was going to do just this: apologize to everyone. Blog about it and make it public. This is going to be really hard and I have butterflies in my stomach right now. So I just ask that if you're on here to forgive me.

1. Christi - I haven't been the true friend that I ought to be. I don't like the blame to be on me so I shift it. It's not right and I apologize.

2. Amanda - I don't always talk nice about you and I have been really convicted about that for a long long time. I ask that you forgive me. I'm super sorry.

3. Lindsey - I took offense from your blog that you posted and I shouldn't have. There was nothing to be upset about. I was never angry I'll have you know. I just didn't respond properly and I am truly sorry.

4. My sisters - I can be really hard on you guys sometimes. Okay, a lot of times. And I am often times a hypocrite for doing so. I need to do the whole speck-plank-eye thing wayyyy more often than I do.

5. Connor - I have been really hard on you too many times. I shouldn't get all in your business. That my problem. I'm still praying for you. I'm sorry for giving you a hard time about things that aren't and of my business and I'm sorry.

6. Caleb - I think a lot of times I lay things on you thick. I'll come to you and just unload. If I'm mad at my parents, then I just unload all my emotion on you. That's really not right. I just need to go to God and have Him help me through it all.

7. Rebekah - Sometimes I'm not the friend that I should be. I give you a hard time about things. I have a tenancy to lecture. I'll be working on that. I'm sorry.

8. Gerry - I haven't been a good friend to you. I don't always say good things about you. I try hard, I really do, but the sin in me wins sometimes. I ask that you'll forgive me. I don't want to lose your friendship.

That's all I got for now. I'll probably come back with more, but for now, I'll leave it at that. That was really hard and I don't know the outcomes, but I think that it was good that it was said. I don't want to lose friendships, but God has been convicting me and the Holy Spirit has been working and when you sin, the outcomes are going to be bad. I hope everyone understands. Thanks for reading.

Popular on the Christian tabloids.

So there's a lot of talk going around about Christians not being the way they should. I totally 100% agree with this. Many of us are not acting the way that we should. Being too strict about stuff and stuff like that.
Then I got thinking, what makes it right that these Christians who are saying that other "Christians" are so wrong? Should we really be talking about them like that? I'll admit, I was talking about it a lot. Really recently actually. Then it hit me, I know some people like this. I'm trying to keep this behind their backs. Isn't that just as wrong. It's very wrong. I mean, there's Christian liberty. Not everyone's going to agree on everything. Actually, nobody will ever agree on everything with another human being. It's fact. I mean, you go out and meet someone and talk about God and everything in the bible and if you agree on every aspect that there is known (granted the 2 of you know everything that is known) then you can come prove me wrong. But for now, I'm pretty positive that I'll never agree with someone on everything. And I'm okay with that. For all I know, I can be wrong on some things too. I know that I have the big picture right. God is the God of the universe; Jesus is His son; Jesus died on the cross for sinners like you and me; the virgin birth; the trinity. That's mostly it. That's all that really matters. Everything else I believe there is just error. WE learned about this at church. We did this class that I loved. It was taught by our pastor and it was awesome. I learned a ton. Anyways, he talked about "heresy" and "error". Basically, heresy is a belief that can lead people to hell. Telling someone they can work for their salvation, that's heresy. Error is something that can't lead people to hell, it's just a little off. I'm not going to give an example because I don't want anyone mad at me, but you know what I mean. Learning this helped me a lot in my Christian faith and ministry. Basically, we just need to spread the Gospel and preach it truly, and let people come to their own beliefs on the things that just don't matter as much as Jesus, like skirts at church and rock music. Personally, I'm not one for skirts and I am one for rock music. But if someone else is, then why should I try to convince them otherwise? The bible talks about these things. It says that if it defies your conscience, then don't do it. If it doesn't, then it's fine. Like music with curse words. I usually don't like to listen to it because I don't like the words pounding in my head. But if you don't mind it, and if it doesn't bother you like it bothers me, then I'll just let you listen. I don't care. I'm not saying that I don't care about people, I just don't care about little things like that. Now if you tell me you're on hard drugs, then I'll be worried haha. But I mean, it's just one of those things. I know people on both sides of the fence. I know what I believe about these things, so that's my beliefs. If you believe different, then that's cool too. I'm just saying what I believe. You know what I mean?
Okay, now time for the song. I'm still in Switchfoot/Jon Foreman/Fiction Family mode, so bear with me.

House of God Forever - Jono.

God is my shepherd
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
With quite streams
Even though I walk
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You are with me

Your shepherd staff
Comforts me
You are my feast
In the presence of enemy
Surely goodness
Follow me
Follow me
In the house of God, forever

God is my shepherd
I won't be wanting
I won't be wanting
He makes me rest
In fields of green
Like quiet streams
Even while I'm walking
Through the valley
Of death and dying
I will not fear
'Cause you are with me
You're always with me

Your shepherd staff
Comforts me
You are my feast
In the presence of enemy
Surely goodness
Follow me
Follow me
In the house of God, forever
In the house of God, forever
In the house of God, forever

I love that song. I want to be in the house of God forever. And I want you to be too.
*alldone!*

Eat fresh.

So today, I got Jono's Spring/Summer dual disc EP set. YAY! I love it. He's so awesome. His songs pwn. Mom liked Your Love Is Strong. Psht, who doesn't? It's really awesome. I also found out how to get tons of songs and videos in my iPod for free. Holy cow, the day is so awesome. And I had Subway for lunch. Eat fresh, that's my motto (haha, not). And on Sunday we got a little bunny. Her name is Lacey (after the lead singer of Flyleaf). She's hxc. She's black and white. Soo cute. I love her. And on Saturday, we leave for CORNERSTONE!! AHH!!! I'M SO EXCITED!! YAYY! And today, I dyed my hair pink. It's awesome. I also babysat lovely kids and got $10. Also awesome.
So if you're waiting for my usual deep and meaningful blog, you're gonna be here for a while. I've got no good advice right now. Just tellin' you about my last few days. I thought it was cool.
So yeah, I'll see ya'll around.

Song of the day:

Revenge - Jon Foreman.

I'm the failure
I'm everyone's fool
And I'm losing my cool at the end

I'm the loser
My number's come up
I've been hung up with thoughts of
Revenge,
Revenge,
Revenge

I watched you
From my terminal view
As you struggled to rise to your end

I laughed hard
At the insults we threw
As the weight of the world found
Revenge

The world hung upside down
I drew first blood
I drew first blood
With my hate for a crown
I drew first blood
I drew first blood
Revenge

I watched heaven
Dying today
And I'm gonna die here tonight

I'm a villain
I deserve to be dead
I've been hung up for
Wreckin' my life
Revenge

So I stopped for a moment
To look at the sun
Dying a day

That's when the irony hit me
That this was revenge
Love had descended
And stolen our pain
Away

We consumed heaven's Son
I drew first blood
I drew first blood
My hate was undone
I drew first blood
I drew first blood
Revenge

Here's a story
How a thief had been robbed
How a murder had stolen my rage

Think of me, Lord
I'm a few breaths away
As my lungs finally rip from the
Cage...
Revenge

Pshtt, totally pwns.

*alldone!*

When life hits ya in the face.

So yesterday was pretty sweet. I mean, nothing great happened, but I got out of the house and I was feeling a little better (from my cold). Also, there were some theological discussions in the family. We were talking about some stuff (can't really say. It's not common knowledge) and it was really good. Then I went downstairs and read this girl's (you know who you are) blog. It was really good. She wanted passion so bad. Now to me, that shows that she is such a believer to want nothing more than just the striving for God. As I was reading, and I was thinking about the conversations I had with the family, I felt so full. Satisfied. Then I realized something else. I don't just up and say "I love God" all that often. So last night I was talking to my friends and I said that. I didn't feel any guilt for saying that because I felt like I actually meant it. It's one of those "coming to an understanding of things I already knew" things. You know? Anyways, it was great. I went to bed feeling full. I was praying all night. I didn't feel any sadness (except for maybe the fact that I have drivers ed this Saturday. Please pray for me). It was so great.
I think often times people don't really feel like that, but they say or even think that they do. People growing up in the church, it seems to me, that often times they end up not really Christians, but they know what a Christian should be. I think lots of times that the kids and teens growing up in church feel like they have to be like Christians. Sometimes I even wish I hadn't been raised in church all my life. I know that sounds bad, but I'll explain. Whenever people go to other countries and they preach the gospel to people who have never heard it before, so many times they seem so full. It's new for them and they accept it. It's beautiful
to see that. I would think like that. I mean, I would just think to myself "Man, if only it was new to me, then maybe I'd get it." I mean, I knew all the stuff that a Christian was supposed to do. I knew all the Bible stories. I memorized the verses. But for a while, I don't think it really ever clicked. In my head I think I would make it click, but it didn't. Now it has. The satisfying feeling is great. I feel like nothing can tear me down now. Now granted there are bad times and I'm going to be upset, but I need to not hold on to things. And I think I'm getting a lot better at that. I mean, last week was a little rough in the friends realm, but now I'm over it. I'm not upset. And I still love those people. A great person on the Switchfoot message boards asked me if I was praying for the people who had a wrong view of me. Honestly, I wasn't. And I'm so happy that he pointed that out to me. I told my mom about that and she said that she loves that he said that. She also said that God worked it out somehow that you can't be mad at the people you're praying for. I totally agree. I'm not upset. And my friend Leah (who just got married) was always a happy person. My mom asked her one time how she was so happy. She replied with a beautiful answer. She said "I just choose not to live my life that way. I choose to live my life always being kind, and happy, and loving. That's how I'm gonna live my life". That was really awesome to me. And that's how I'm gonna live my life. It's important to have a positive outlook on things. I think that it's biblical. I mean, we have to face reality. We have to be honest with ourselves and all that. But we shouldn't live thinking that only bad things are going to happen. It's not biblical. No one likes a pessimist. This is true.
So yeah, here's a song (didn't see it comin' did ya? ;) ) that I really like. It's Your Love is Strong by the one and only, Jon Foreman. It's a total praise and worship song. I love love love it.

Heavenly Father
You always amaze me
Let Your kingdom come in my world
And in my life

Give me the food I need
To live through today
Forgive me as I forgive
The people that wrong me

Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune
Or out of place

I walk to the meadow
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl
On her wedding day

So why should I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need!

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens
Is now advancing
Invade my heart
Invade this broken town

The kingdom of the heavens
Is buried treasure
Would you sell yourself
To buy the one you've found

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong
Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

Our God in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy name
Above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven
Give us, today, our daily bread
Forgive us weary sinners
Keep us far from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons


Isn't it just lovely? I want to sing it in church someday. Go here as well:

He's awesome. God's awesomer.
;)
*alldone!*

Where can you run to escape from yourself?

You know, right now I feel like crap. I learned that hardly anyone at my church likes me. That's rough. I feel so down, like I've sunk to the lowest part of me. Like no one really cares or loves me. Teenagers are stupid. All of 'em. Even me. I'm stupid. People can be so repulsive sometimes. I know I can too. I just can't believe some of the stuff that has happened. I'm not mad at anyone anymore, but I feel almost as if I have nothing left now to lose. I want to go somewhere far. Runaway, faraway. I feel like I'm in a hole that I didn't even dig. I feel like I was skipping through a meadow happy to be alive then someone came along and dug a drench for me to fall into and never get out of. Gosh, what now? I'm not angry, at all. I'm just letdown. But hey, I guess that's where a song comes in and reminds me of Who I'm living for, and that's it's not myself or my friends:

The Beautiful Letdown - Switchfoot.

It was a beautiful let down
When I crashed and burned
When I found myself alone unknown and hurt
It was a beautiful let down
The day I knew
That all the riches this world had to offer me
Would never do

In a world full of bitter pain and bitter doubt
I was trying so hard to fit in, fit in,
Until I found out
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But I don't belong

It was a beautiful let down
When you found me here
Yeah for once in a rare blue moon I see everything clear
I'll be a beautiful let down
That's what I'll forever be
And though it may cost my soul
I'll sing for free
We're still chasin our tails and the rising sun
And our dark water planet's
Still spinning in a race
Where no one wins and no one's one

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I'm gonna set sight and set sail for the kingdom come
I will carry a cross and a song where I don't belong
But i don't belong
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Kingdom come
Your kingdom come

Won't you let me down yeah
Let my foolish pride
Forever let me down

Easy living, not much like your name
Easy dying, you look just about the same
Won't you please take me off your list
Easy living please come on and let me down

We are a beautiful let down,
Painfully uncool,
The church of the dropouts
The losers, the sinners, the failures and the fools
Oh what a beautiful let down
Are we salt in the wound
Let us sing one true tune

I don't belong here
I don't belong here
I don't belong here
Feels like I don't belong here
Let me down
Let me down
Feels like I'm let down
Let me down.
Cuz I don't belong here
Please
Won't you let me down?

The kingdom come: that's where I belong.
*alldone!*

You know what I love?

I really love it when people don't get mad at me for not believing exactly what they believe, and we agree to disagree. When that happens, I feel a certain peace inside me. I love it when people really have a strong belief and when others disagree, they don't get mad. I try to do that same thing. I think that it's very important to never show anger, disapproval, or exclusion. I believe we need to show love, generosity, kindness, and compassion. That's something the world needs more of. It says so right in the bible. We live in a sin-sick world, and Satan is the prince, says that right in the bible as well! I like to think about these things, and with the help of other Christians around me and their beliefs and the way they present them, I have come to this:
We love God because He first loved us. Christ's love is shown through us. I mean, it's not like Christ depends on us loving people to love others, but as John Piper says, "God gets the most glory from us when we are most satisfied in Him." This is true. When Christians go up to un-believers and basically tell them "You have to believe exactly what I believe and you have to do exactly what this book tells you to do, or you are going to Hell to burn forever and ever", you aren't going to get the desired outcome. Unbelievers won't go for that. And I'm sure if you were in that position, you wouldn't either. But when you go to people in love and don't force beliefs, when you are so happy you can't stand it, when you always have a positive look, when no matter what people do to you, you don't get torn down, things like this. When other people see this, they'll go "I want what that person wants", I believe that's how the job is done. I mean, if a mother forces a child to do a sport, but they hate it, do you think they have respect for it? No, and not their mother much for that matter. But if a child sees what people are doing in a sport, and they want to do it, to have the satisfaction that that person has doing it, and their mother 100% supportive and let's them do it and is only happy for them, then that child will have a lot of respect for that sport and for their mother as well. I think this is how it should be like in evangelism. We were told to present the gospel, to help people learn more about Jesus, and to preach the bible in it's entirety. We were not told to save people or scare people into thinking our way just so you can have a precise number. You see what I'm getting at here? There is a specific commandment we were given by Jesus, the Great Commission, and I believe that people have taken that wayy too far. We can't save people, God does. There's nothing we can do about that, all we can do is what God has told us to do. We aren't Jesus, we aren't divinity, we aren't a "supernatural being" if you will, we are simple servants and children of God with one purpose: to proclaim the gospel wherever we go. Not force, no, not that at all. Proclaim. And we must do this in love. The bible does talk about approaching in love. People do have problems, and they should be pointed out, but in a loving manner. I believe when we are more open with other people, then they will be more open with us.
It's a beautiful thing, salvation. But people can't get saved if they don't hear the gospel. We mustn't fail God. We must do what He has commanded, in love for others and for Him. There is hope, and the world needs it. So, I "dare you to move, to lift yourself up off the floor". ;)
*alldone!*

Blue like jazz.

For those of you who know, that's a book. I've heard a lot about it, so I decided to check it out at the library. I like it. It's good, though I don't agree with the guy on all of his theology. I mean, I don't think he's a heretic, I just disagree on one little thing. He keeps saying that we need to "choose" to follow Jesus. I don't agree with that for a few little reasons. First, I believe that Jesus picks us first, not us choosing. Also, I don't believe that Jesus died for everyone. I know that sounds terrible, but if He died for everyone ever, then why are there people in hell? Did His work on the cross only help a little bit? No, in the cross He said "it is finished". So that's just a little disagreement I have with this guy, and I don't think he's going to hell for it.
So yeah, but other than that, I like a lot of what this guy has to say. I like what he says about how we should approach unbelievers and stuff. He's also talking about something that I relate with and that's how Christianity doesn't always feel real, like it's one's and zeros, a math problem. I like how he distinguishes that with Christian spirituality. That's really good.
I don't have time to type out a full blog, but I think this is good enough for now.
Plus, I'm starving.
Later!
*alldone!*

Boredom stinks worse than a wet dog eating a gym sock.

True story. :D
So yeah, as you can see, right now, I am too bored for school. I can't seem to find much to do. I mean, I'm not upset, I get my car back today or tomorrow (yayy!) it's Friday, Laurel's going away tonight for a sleep over, and it's pretty outside. So since I am so bored, I thought I might share with you some pictures based off of Switchfoot songs (bet you didn't see that coming. :) )

Daisy:


My Love Goes Free:


Dare You to Move:

("Everybody's watching you now." get it?)

The Shadow Proves the Sunshine:



Lonely Nation:


American Dream/Lord, Save me from Myself:


Chem6a:


Ammunition:


Stars:

("maybe all my luck's washed down the drain.")

Meant to Live:

("Wondering why the world has passed him by.")

We Are One Tonight:

("I don't have a soul to trust in now with the whole world upside down")

So yeah, there you go.
*alldone!*

A heart made of gold can't really beat at all.

True story.
So as you can see, I changed my name yet again. I find that I do that a lot. I think it's because I like change. Things different. And I really like that phrase. Though a lot of people wouldn't get it, I thought it was catchy. It's based on Switchfoot song (big surprise). In order for you to understand though, we gotta do some learnin' here.

Faust:
This is the character in The Story of Doctor Faustus. It's this doctor (obviously) that makes a deal with Satan. He trades his soul for powers. Supernatural powers. He can do anything to anyone, anytime. He's a sick, twisted guy who basically wants revenge against a lot of people who have wronged him in the past. That's a good summary. If you don't like it, go here :
Doctor Faustus.

Midas:
So, you should know the story of Midas. He is a character in the Metamorphoses book XI. What follows has been copied from SparkNotes:
Thracian women attack Orpheus with stones. Orpheus protects himself by charming the rocks with his songs. But the women drown out his music and tear his body apart. Orpheus’s shade descends to the underworld, where he joins Eurydice. Bacchus punishes the Thracian women for their crime against Orpheus by transforming them into trees. In Asia Minor, Bacchus rewards King Midas for finding Silenus by offering him a wish. Midas asks for a golden touch. Everything Midas touches turns to gold, including food and drink. He soon realizes that this gift is a curse, and Bacchus agrees to take it away. Midas witnesses a music contest between Pan and Apollo. The god of Mount Tmolous judges Apollo the winner. Everyone agrees with this decision except Midas. Apollo punishes him by giving him donkey ears and departs to Troy.
To read more, go here: King Midas.
This would help a little as well, and is also copied from SparkNotes:
Midas - The Phrygian king. Midas has a golden touch, and he is a poor literary critic. Apollo punishes him by giving him donkey ears.

So yeah, basically, the song is showing something that we suffer from as well. Faustus wanted all the power, and Midas wanted riches. At the end of both the stories though, they found that what they had was miserable, accursed, and empty. They did not get the happiness that they wanted.
Basically, the moral is, these things are all empty. If you are to aspire to them, it will be in vain. People always beg and plead for money and power. It doesn't get them anywhere though. It's shallow. The only happiness you can have is through Jesus Christ.

So that's why I like it. There's meaning, there's purpose, and there's not emptiness. I think the world is too big to be as empty as it is. That's all I have. Hope you learned a little somethin' somethin'. Later.
*alldone!*

Don't worry, about a thing. Cause every little thing's gonna be alright.

Basically. So, I'm starting to realize more and more how hard it is to be a Christian. I mean, living for Christ is what I aspire to do, but I am still human, and I like to do things where only I benefit. It's really hard to always be happy, kind, gentle, and all that, and I'm realizing that more and more, and more. Then I realize, why stress? I know it's super easy to stress, because we want things to be perfect, but we're missing the picture. God's in control of everything. He's got a perfect plan. So whatever happens, it already is perfect. So I realize, why worry? Why stress? It's not going to fix the problem. It's not going to make things any better. Most importantly though, it's not glorifying God at all. I think that it's actually bringing Him shame. Worrying and stressing is just a waste of time and energy. Whatever happens, happens. There's nothing you can really do about it. All you can do is make light out of the subject. There's no good reason, ever, to be really stressy about something, at least in God's eyes. If you are going to worry about something, then you're not putting your faith in God. Think about it, if your focused about how this thing is going to work out and you're trying to fix it, then you're not putting your faith in God. That's a bad thing (yeah, I know, that sounded like a kindergardener. Well, it's late and I can't find something witty to say). Basically, I went through some awesome songs, and I pulled out some that help me whenever I'm down, not listed in any particular order.

1. Dare You To Move - Switchfoot.

2. Brand New Day - Fireflight.

3. When I Go Down - Relient K.

4. The Shadow Proves the Sunshine - Switchfoot.

5. All Around Me - Flyleaf.

6. Hold On - Stellar Kart.

7. We Are Broken - Paramore.

8. Awakening - Switchfoot.

9. So I Thought - Flyleaf.

10. The Cure For the Pain - Jon Foreman.

11. Never Alone - BarlowGirl.

12. It's Beautiful - Eleventyseven.

13. We Are One Tonight - Switchfoot.

14. Learning How to Die - Jon Foreman.

15. Devastation and Reform - Relient K.

16. Find Me Tonight - Everyday Sunday.

17. This is Your Life - Switchfoot.

18. Shine Like The Stars - Stellar Kart.

19. Replace Me - Family Force 5.

20. The Moon is a Magnet - Jon Foreman.

21. Who I Am Hates Who I've Been - Relient K.

22. Stars - Switchfoot.

23. Unbreakable - Fireflight.

24. Opposite Way - Leeland.

25. Live Like We're Alive - Nevertheless.

26. For the Moments I Feel Faint - Relient K.

27. Meant to Live - Switchfoot.


Yeah, those are some great songs. There are of course more, I just didn't have enough time to look through my whole iTunes library. Haha. So yeah, later.
*alldone!*

Woa-oahh bro.

Yeah, that's my saying when people drive crazy on the road.

So I thought I'd talk. I'm quite bored right now.
Okay, as we all know, music is the greatest thing to come along since macaroni and cheese.
Something else we all know is that I am on the hugest Switchfoot obsession to ever be known of by mankind. They are one of the coolest things, to me. I've been listening to them a lot lately, and I decided to go out and get Jon Foreman's Fall & Winter EP's. Wow, that's all I have to say about that. They are really good. So I was going to dig a teeny bit deeper. I went to his MySpace and I read his whole "about me" thing. He was talking about how a lot of the songs he writes are rather sad and a little depressing, and that that was puzzling him because he a really upbeat guy. Then he went on to say that he thinks happiness comes with celebration and jubilation and with others around to be happy with, and that it's easier to write sadder lyrics in solitude. I see that coming out a little more in his songs. There are the ones that are about love and God and salvation and his wife (which, those songs are not family-friendly enough to have on a Switchfoot album. hah) and things like that. Then there are the ones that are about rather sad things, like death, drugs, drinking, evils, and what such. But (yes, I just started a sentence with a conjunction. sue me) when I listen to those, it really gets me thinking about things. Why are we here? What am I going to do when I near my death? The sad things that we don't want to think about, but are really going to happen. Now granted, I know the answers to those questions, but there's a difference between knowing the answer, and understanding. Knowledge is something anyone can do, but understanding things is harder to do. It's hard to understand things that are deep. I believe the way you are able to understand the deep things is by a special revelation from God. So that's what I believe the difference is.

Okay, now that I've had my serious time, we have now come to the segment of the sho...er, blog, that's super upbeat. WOO!
So I've been watching some of those Switchfoot podcasts, and that's where most of my funny sayings have been coming from. So, if I'm talking to you and I say one of the following things, it's from a Switchfoot podcast:

1.*with British accent* "But mother! (father, father). But father! I'd rather, I'd rather...nope, nope, nope, cut that out. Not like that you won't."

2. "Yes! No! Yes! No! Bye! Cell! *giggles* Bye! Cell! No! No! No, don't do it!"

3. "Hello? *whipsers* Hello? Is anybody in there? *camera shakes in disagreement* *giggles* "Do you like my bass? *camera nods* Do you think it looks pretty? *camera nods* *giggles* "I love it when the camera talks. *camera nods*"

4. "Woo-ee! She'd make a train take to a dirt road." (That's my favorite.)

5. "You've got a dirty lens boy, get that dirty lens in here, you don't come in here talking with a dirty lens, you've got a dirty lens boy, you've got a freakin' filthy lens, FILTHY lens! *breathes on lens* Now you do have a filthy lens *takes lens off* Okay, now it's clean."

6. *with Arnold Schwarzenegger accent* "Meet the most powerful Mac notebook ever! More muscle without the mass! (softly) that's stupid."

7. "Sorry I'm awesome."

8. "What it does it it creates a siphon of multiplexing imagination and when the atoms and molecules get together they do crazy somersaults. Okay we'll just think of them as somersaults ok? Uhm...but in reality what's happening is the ions are dia--decting and pultiplecting. Diadecting and Pultiplecting. Bam! What they're doing is virtual somersaults."

So those are some, and then there are silly things that those dudes have done that I'd like to accomplish before I die, such as:

1. Ride a pig.

2. Try out for Canadian Idol, whether or not the auditions are open.

3. Feed a Joey (baby Kangaroo).

4. Slide head-first into bowling pins.

5. Go down waterslides with a camera.

6. Play the bass. (I know, not really silly, but it's still a life goal. XD)

That's about all. I gotta go do school now. Later!
*alldone!*