is this the new year or just another night?

So, it's been a few days. I totally made Graphic of the Week on LOBH with my Switchfoot Elves. That made me happy :)

Anyways, you all know that New Years is coming up. A time to start fresh. A time to decide whether or not you want to live the same year over again. And a time to look back on the things that has happened this year.

This year was a learning year. You know what I mean? It's not a year where something crazy-bad happened. A few really awesome things happened and a couple bad here and there. But nothing life-changing. But what I mean by "learning year" is that there are things about this year that I will carry on for the rest of my life. While nothing dramatic or terrible happened to me, there are plenty around me who has had horrible experiences this year. And I am learning how to deal with those. Some very scary things happened to people around me. But I decided that I was going to help them. And that made this a learning year because it has helped me find out how to help people for the greater good and encouraging them to keep on a good, straight path. While I have learned that I can be nobody's Holy Spirit, I know how to balance that with good help and even pushes from time to time.

I know that I wanted to make a new friend this year. And that I did. We get along amazing. But there was something about her that was different from my other friends. You see, when learning more about life and how to deal with things, God changed the way I acted. I am truly ashamed of the person that I used to be. "Who I am hates who I've been", right? So with this new friend, I felt like I was given a clean slate to start over with. Almost like I could get off on a good start with this person because she didn't know the old me. I feel so terrible about the way that I used to act and I'm glad that she never saw that side of me. While I am no where near perfect, I can truly say that there has been a change in my life. With my other friends, I feel like I have to start over with them, in a sense. The person that I used to be I now want dead and I want my friends to forget her. To leave her behind. And start fresh.

This is one of my New Year's Resolutions. To completely rid myself of the selfish, self-serving brat I was and become a new, shining child in God.

There are so many things that I can be thankful for this year. The epiphanies I've had while sitting in my bed late at night. Switchfoot quietly mulling their beautiful tune in the background. And my Bible in my hands. The true word of God passed through His humble servants. The things I have found in that book have been...well, really cool! It's so neat how God can show you something that you've seen 1000 times over before and then suddenly there's the click in your head. "OH!", you might say. "I can't believe I never saw that that way before! Amazing!" It's really neat the things you learn when you find out how to keep your mind open to the words of other people and not the darkness in your self that tries to trick you from time to time.

It's amazing. When you have Christ living inside of you, it's like there's now a battle. A constant civil war of good and evil. While the good wins the wars, there are times when the bad whens the battles. Those are hard times, indeed. But the good always comes in and rescues you from yourself. You can always tell because that Good is not of yourself. It can't be. You are the evil, but God is the Good in you. When people tell me that I "shine in my faith", it's very easy for me to give myself the credit. It's God shining through me. It always is. Without Jesus, I was as dark as a night with no moon. But now I have this amazing fire shining through me, and it makes me happier to know that God is living in me rather than me doing all these things myself. If it's just myself, then it's temporary. Useless. It won't get me anywhere but on a high horse where I'll crash to my face. Thank God that is not ultimately the case.

Well, I believe that all that I have to say for now. Have a good day. And a beautiful New Years.

Peace.
Cecelia.