welcome back to the blogsphere, cecelia!

wow you guys, i haven't posted in forever. hmm, that's strange.
actually, no, it's not. i mean, i've had new thoughts and ideas on things recently, but i feel like having a one-on-one in order to get them out. i love to write about my thoughts and feelings regarding the world that i live in, but there are times when that just doesn't cut it.
okay, end of rant. haha.
basically, i've learned lately about my relationship with God. i've learned that it's not just God doing all the good stuff while i get to sit here saying "praise him! praise him!" i've learned that i have to do something. to move. i always talk about it, and tell others to do it, but me? no, not so much. "there's more to living than being alive" as stephen christian says. things that make me think about this is (big shocker) Switchfoot songs (told you it was a shock ;) ). songs like love is the movement, daisy, and this is your life. i wish i was deep like jon foreman. i'm on my way, but not there quite yet. i want to be able to analyze everything around me with a good, biblical perspective.
oh! i just had a song jump into my head. here's a stanza from 24:
i want to see miracles
to see the world change
i wrestled the angel
for more than a name
for more than a feeling
for more than a cause
and i'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
and You're raising the dead in me
i'm not copping out

of course that's rather editied, but you get the idea.
i love that part of the song. it could be my favorite switchfoot lyrics of all time. it defines my life. i do want to see people change, i want more than a name, feelings and causes. i want to be with the Lord. nothing pleases me more than He does. i wonder why He loves me. i drift away from Him sometimes, whereas He never leaves my side. how does that happen? how can i leave Him, but He's still with me? how are we washed white as snow with crimson blood? how can we believe in God, and yet doubt Him sometimes? it's these questions that make you think. of course, those are random ones and not all totally literal, but still, i think sparatically.

this is the most random blog, but i'm just following my thoughts.

you know, it's a beautiful day outside. even though i'm sitting here kindaa hungry, doing nothing, not going to the switchfoot show that i was planning to go to, and have no money, i'm really rather happy. it's awesome how God can do that to a person, ya know? again, reminds me of a song:
i look out the window
the birds are compsing
not a note is out of tune or out of place
i walk to the meadow and and stare at the flowers
better dressed than any girl on her wedding day
two things You told me
that You are strong and You love me
yes You love me!

i love that. cause it's so true. outside it's gorgeous, and i'm reminded of Christ's unfalible love. it's such a beautiful thing. he puts such color in my world and i love it. i am often in awe of it all. so gorgeous.

again being random...heh.
something i've learned lately is how to be strong. you know, for a long time i thought the way to get stronger was to cut everything "worldly" out of my life. music, tv, etc. that only made me weaker. because when someone came to me with opposing ideas that i had never heard before, i didn't know what to say to it. all i knew was how i should act. i never learned what other people think of things and how best to have a conversation exclaiming each others ideas. i've grown up in church and been there all my life. all i knew were the things of the church. but when someone said something opposing my beliefs, i was there questioning myself. so i've learned not to cut out everything. it only makes my immune system weaker. so i try to open up more and learn about other peoples thoughts on things. it helps me to better understand my God by knowing other people's take on life. i've learned a lot more that way, and i find myself a stronger person. i find that it's now easier to talk about God and life and what-such. now when i find myself in a ceratin group setting where not a lot of my friends there are Christians, it's easier to stand firm in what i believe in. to remain strong. it reminds me of what stephen christian said. some girl asked him how he can stay strong in his faith at places such as warped tour. his response was something along the lines of:
"think of it as a very tall building. a skyscraper. that is your life. if your foundation is in the firm rock of Jesus Christ, then your building isn't going to fall when huge winds come. you may sway, but never fall"
(again, i said something along those lines. that is definitely not word for word.)
i really love that saying. it's so simple, and i knew it all along, but it finally clicked. you know, i used to feel sort of uncomfortable talking about God because people would laugh at me or something. you may find that very silly, and i do too, but you have been in the same situation before. so now, whenever i am in that situation, i think of that verse that talks about "blessed are those that are rebuked for My Name's for theirs is the kingdom of God". (again, not word for word).
that verse gives me the strength to keep going. the word of God is where my strength is found. my strength, hope, peace, love, and faith is founded upon the word of God.

such a beautiful thing. i love to see growth in my life as well as others. it makes me certain that there is a God. the God. my God. so often, i see people as they get older, they start to sway further and further from the truth. those are the people that were never there in the first place and just put on a very good show. that's what so many non-believers see. which i believe is part of the reason why there aren't as many true believers anymore. so when i do see growth, it gives me confidence, gives me faith, gives me hope. i know that i'm living for more than just what people call the "made-up god in my head". here's a tim foreman quote, and i'm applying it right now:

"Thank you Jesus, my sweet Lord. You have been so good to me. I remember, and I am humbled."

that's beautiful. and it really gets to me. "thank you Jesus, my sweet Lord".

here's a song. my favorite part in bold.

Love is the Movement - uh, i don't think i need to tell you the artist. ;)

A day in LA
And millions of faces
Are looking for movement
Cause everything's stuck
And everything's frozen
And everyone's broken
And nobody moves
And everybody's scared
That the motion will never come

This is the incompletion
Stuck in a line

Love is the movement
Love is a revolution
This is redemption
We don't have to slow back down

The stars are alive
They dance to the music
Of the deepest emotion
And all of the world
Is singing in time
As the heavens are caving in
Mysterious ways
Why God gave His life
To put motion inside my soul

It's bigger than cold religion
It's bigger than life

We're starting now
We don't have to slow back down

This is a revolution

Get up, get up
Love is moving you now



beautiful. absolutely astounding. again, thank you Jesus, my sweet Lord. you have been so good to me.